?

Log in

Aug. 25th, 2011

Sacrosanct Butterfly

This is a request for leifang666, who wanted to have a fic with Kami x Gackt, by Kami being an angle that has returned to earth cuz of a heavenly mission, but couldn´t resist to see his former lover Gackt (still human) while filling his order. Cuz Kami is an angle, he´s too pure for having any sexual impulse by his own, but Gackt surely wants to have him sexually, so Kami lets him use his body in every way he could have want to. (And yes, it went even longer than I ever thought xD).


Title: Sacrosanct Butterfly
Rating: 18
Fandom: Malice Mizer
Pairing: Gackt x Kami
Genre: Poetry, smut
Warnings: Gay sex (including heresy, cuz Kami is an angle xD), some kind of wing fetish,
melancholy

P.S. : I am apologizing for any difficulty in understanding what I want to say, cuz english isn´t my first language and for spelling mistakes that could still be in it, although I searched for them more than four times^^

P.P.S. I am sorry that I characterized Kami that weird, but I thought he should behave differently because he has become something so different from a human being^^

P.P.P.S. Got inspired by this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TIN955FYeg. Listen to it if you want to!



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Heavens light stopped surrounding him as his gaze became blurred and his mind vanished with the absence of his ability to recognize his environment. But it felt like just a second, even if it could have been thousand of years, until his body found its way back to consciousness.
He had chosen exactly this place to return to the unholy earth, that he was able to see now when slowly opening his eyes. It was a simple park with a small lake that appeared black and silent now, because it was night. By being used to heavens perfection, everything seemed rough and hard to him. The feeling was emphasized by the memories that crushed into his mind, when he walked along the bank. It was the place he had lastly seen his lover in his mortal life before his sudden death. He could hardly remember what it felt like to be human, but he would never forget the feeling of his lovers skin against his fingers or the way he smelled when he had buried his face into some short strands of his light hair. He should have known that he would never been able to stand the seduction of seeing him again. It was simply not possible and he would surely search for him before caring for his real assignment, the possible aftermaths didn´t matter for him.
He was just hoping that Gackt hadn´t give up their habit since his death. They had used to come here at night, when they wanted to be alone, separated from the world. When he would have to choose a place that reminded him most of his lover, he would have chosen this place and he was sure that Gackt would have chosen it as well. It felt strange to be that unknowing; he was controlled by his human feelings, the only thing that had remained from the past.
After walking across half of the park he began to loose the thought of him being here. To be honest to his hopeful self: Why should he? Kami had always been hoping that Gackt would have found a way to go on, to begin something new, without falling into the darkness of his depression. One more thing that reminded him of what it meant to be ephemeral: the feeling of despair that stabbingly erupted into him, caused by his powerlessness to reach what he desired for. It was his last and only chance to see him again. Maybe it was wrong, maybe Gackt wouldn´t want to see him...Kami wasn´t at least sure if he already had someone else by now or not...but all this was unnecessary, because he just couldn´t resist.
He was standing there now, desperately starring into the dark sky.
Gackt really wasn´t here.
Maybe he had stayed in their house...he could just try to find him there.

He had loosen every sense of time since becoming what he was now, so he couldn´t say how long it had lasted until he was standing in front of his bed, starring silently on the beautousness of Gackts sleeping face. He had buried himself into the white sheets, his now longer hair lying beside his head. Every beauty Kami had seen in heaven, all the light, all the perfection was nothing against the view of him sleeping. He really couldn´t imagine something more beautiful.
He slowly took a step forward until he was standing directly beside him. He reached out for his face with one finger and touched his cheek in rapture. This was when he reached what he had wanted and Gackt sleepily opened his eyes. As he saw him he was jumping up, starring in disbelieve, but not a single sound left his mouth.
Kami had known that he would cause a reaction like this, so he was waiting for him to say something, because he didn´t want to scare him even more. With a quiet sound Kami opened his pure white wings that were enframing him softly now. Gackt didn´t move, nothing changed, it seemed as he didn´t even get frightened. He was just starring at him, while his hand tightened a bit around the bedpost he was holding at.
With Kami moving his wings a little, a single tear ran down Gackts face.
As if this had been some kind o a trigger, he released himself out of his numbness and walked a few steps forward. His hand reached out for him and he was touching one wing with extremely careful fingers. He seemed to be surprised when his fingertips really touched the soft feathers, because he hissed when they did so.
"I missed you..."
Kamis voice broke the silence.
“I knew I would loose my mind...”
Gackt looked into his eyes but whispered to himself.
“You haven´t...”
Kami responded calmly.
“But if I had known what my mind is possible to create in insanity, I would have wished to become insane earlier...”
He again talked just to himself.
Kami smiled slightly, before he leaned forward and kissed Gackt on his forehead.
Gackt was stiffening a bit when he did so, and after Kami departed them again, more tears were following the first one.
"Are...you real...?"
Kami couldn´t remember to have seen him that weak ever before, so he touched his cheek again and wiped away his tears with his thumb.
Gackt took his hand into his own, noticing by himself that he must been real.
Maybe he was just dreaming, maybe not...but it didn´t matter. He could see him, touch him, feel him. That was everything important. He lost all of his hesitation now and let his body weakly fall into Kamis arms. Kami was holding him, as his wings embraced them both in a protecting manner.Gackt cried against his torso, feeling feathers around his shoulder blades like some curtain of insulation. Time passed an they were both just seizing the moment of being together.
Then Gackt raised his head a little. Kamis face hadn´t changed, but it seemed to be more harmonic. Without thinking about it he crushed their lips together, uniting them both in a desperate kiss – the last proof for him that he really wasn´t dreaming.
"I...didn´t know what...to do, I didn´t realized it, so many things...I had wanted to say to you, ...I was waiting for you everyday...but time passed and you didn´t return...Please...be real...”
His voice was so shaky.
"I´m here. I´m real."
"But...what are you?"
"Does it matter?"
Gackt just watched his wings moving slightly again, so Kami continued.
"I´m one of heavens guardians..."
Gackt didn´t dare to ask again...he couldn´t be an angle, could he?
He looked at him again.
“You are so beautiful.”
"So are you, my love."
Kami touched his hair tenderly.
"I shouldn´t be here...but I wasn´t able to resist..."
"You should´t...be...here? Why?"
"I have a mission."
"What is it?"
"It doesn´t matter now."
"It does, because it could mean that you won´t be here forever and that you´ll leave me again."
Gackts voice was still weak.
"I never wanted to leave you..."
"But you did!"
I seemed like Gackt was going to become angry now.
For a very short moment Kami thought Gackt would beat him, but instead of this he was kissing him again. While doing so his hand stroked over Kamis chest.
Kami had known this, he had expected this.
As an angle he was too pure, too innocent to have any will of being sexually together with someone, but for Gackt sex was the completion of conjunction. It always had been...for him it was an act of trying to be as close together as it was possible. The way Gackt was kissing him now, the way his tongue found its way into his mouth, Kami knew that he was trying to reach that closeness. He wanted to say something, he wanted to told him that he had lost his drive of having sex with becoming holy, but he just wasn´t able to stop him now. He let Gackts hand wandering down his stomach, he let his mouth kissing his neck like he had done so many times before in the past.
"Gackt...I...you should know..."
The sudden cognition came into Gackts mind when Kami began talk. He immediately stopped everything.
"I...I´m sorry...I shouldn´t...I mean you are...holy?"
The last word sounded strange in his ears.
Kami looked at him.
"I am...I don´t have any instinct for this anymore...but I will let you do what you want do...I am yours. I have always been, so use me if you want."
"I´d never use you..."
"I know...but I also know that you´ll need this to really feel me, to really realize that I am here."
He managed a sheepish smile.
Gackt answered with a kinky one.
"So are you sure you don´t have any will? Maybe I could bring it back to you..."
Kami was just glad that he had found his normal self back that fast...seeing Gackt being weak was strange and he couldn´t really handle it.
"Just try."
Gackts mouth was back on his neck, before Kami had really see this coming.
As Gackt always had been: moody, but spirited and purely passionate in every mood that circulated trough him so suddenly. Kami had ever admired his straightforwardly behavior. It was childish sometimes, but it always was honest.
He had never thought of sex since his death, but when Gackts tongue licked over his collarbone, a soft hiss left his mouth. He remembered what it felt like to be needed, what it meant to desire for his lovers body. It wasn´t the same, but he was at least able to understand and his body reacted just like a human one. His wings embraced them again, tighter this time.
Gackt moaned a bit when he felt them again.
"You know...I´ve always loved your butterfly wings...but those are even more amazing..."
His fingertip on Kamis left wing again.
"You can touch them, you don´t have be that careful..."
Gackt buried his hand into the white feathers.
"They are so soft..."
Kami was laying his chin on Gackt shoulder and smiled again.
The smell of his hair had stayed the same.
Gackts warm body pressed against him and he could feel the men´s pulse running rapidly trough his veins. He was so vivid, so vulnerable.
Kami let one of his hands wander to Gackts hair, before he scratched the soft skin of his neck.
Gackt kissed his ear in return.
A sigh left his lips, followed by a short hiss as he pressed his crotch into Kamis.
“I missed you, I missed this so much...”
“I know...”
Kami was surprised as his breath hitched again.
It felt different than he remembered, but he wasn´t that insensitive like he had expected.
Gackt kissed him eagerly now again, his hands once again in buried in the softness of Kamis wings. It felt just like it had in the past, although Kami had changed that much.
Gackts fingers began to remove Kamis white clothing now and he exposed his chest, quietly admiring his perfect white skin. His finger trailed along one rip, where once had been a small but tangibly scar.
“It´s gone...”
He whispered surprised, before pulling out Kamis clothing completely.
After doing so he retreated and watched his naked body once again.
His skin was a perfect contrast to his dark hair. His small figure being unbelievably beautiful with his spread wings. Gackt felt like starring at him forever, but his hand twitched to touch this perfectness. He removed his own shirt, before he touched Kamis inner thigh with gentle moves. Kami felt like he should do something as well, so he crossed his hands in Gackts neck and let one wing wrap around him tightly. By Gackt moaning deeply again he could clearly see the effect which he was able to initiate with this.
“Dammit...”
“What´s wrong?”
“Nothing...but...those wings...”
“This wings?”
Kami spread them fastly again with an sizzling sound so that he nearly touched the ceiling with them before nearly crushing them back on Gackt.
It felt soft, but strong at the same time, making Gackt bit his lip in arousal.
He let his left hand stroke lazily over Kamis abdomen, his right lasted on Kamis leg, and sucked at one nipple before he felt Kamis erection against the palm of his hand.
He grinned.
“I was sure this would work...”
Kami stayed calm but the pleasure was slightly confusing him.
“This feels weird...”
This simple sentence made Gackt groan before he could hold it back.
It sounded just so innocent and he felt the excitement of destroying this innocence with fucking Kamis unflawed body.
“Why...?”
His voice sounded husky now in contrast to Kamis unsure words.
“I don´t know...feels forbidden... and like I´d have never done this before...”
Gackt just smiled before he flipped the other around to gaze at the place on his back were the wings stepped out of his skin. He licked at it before pressing kisses to the first short feathers.
“Wasn´t this painful?”
“I...can´t remember...”
“That´s so unreal...”
Gackt stroked over his ass while continuing to kiss his back.
Kami let him do that for some moment before turning around again.
Gackt pressed him against the wall, before getting on his knees and licking over Kamis whole length. Kami moaned very quietly before looking down into Gackts face with a slightly confused look. As Gackt continued sucking him, he let his head fall back to the wall again, breathing heavily and his wings began to twitch restively.
He tried his best to hold them in place but he just couldn´t control this anymore.
The harder Gackt was sucking, the harder they were moving until they were hitting against Gackt with every move of his tongue. He seemed to like that because he was moaning, so that Kami could feel the vibration intensively against his flesh.
Gackt just loved his uncontrolled behavior and so he felt himself coming far to near to orgasm, although he wasn´t even touched.
So he stopped, stood up and looked into Kamis eyes with parted lips that glisten when he bit them again. Kami looked back at him, his wings now calm.
Gackt let his finger slide along Kamis shaky bottom lip while speaking again.
“Wanna take your virginity once again...”
“Take it...break my guiltlessness...no one else will ever be able to do this...”
Gackt didn´t break the eye-contact when his hand stroked over the others rips, down to his hip and finally letting his fingers slip between Kamis legs to shortly tease his entrance and pushing two of them inside.
Kami closed his eyes in disbelief how unfamiliar it felt. It didn´t hurt but it was strange.
He allowed Gackt to add the third one without complaining.
His nails clawed into Gackts shoulder what made him stop breathing for a second.
After some minutes he was moving against Gackts fingers rhythmically and faint sounds escaped him from time to time.He reached down and pressed his hand into Gackts still cloth covered crotch so that he was grinding against the warm hardness there.
Gackt responded with a dark, erotic moan and removed his hand again, because that was too much. While doing that, he freed himself from his underwear. When he pressed his whole body against Kamis he rubbed impulsively against his sweaty lover and positioned himself, before penetrating him without hesitation. Kami made a sound like swallowing and with one fluent movement his wings closed out of some reflex as he would try to hold on something. The sensuality of the act circled in Gackts thoughts and he willingly devoted himself to that embrace. When he began to move slowly his shoulders were constantly enclosed by feathers and by picking up the pace Kami unconsciously beat him that hard with them that some red stripes appeared on Gackts skin. But he just tried not to scream and hoped for Kami to do that again what happened a few seconds later. Kami didn´t seem to really realize because he was a wriggling mess and just looked into Gackts face still innocently but panting. The way he devoted to his will was intoxicating and thrillingly. Kami moaned with a tremulous voice when his erection was pressed against Gackts stomach and moved faster against him. A few trusts later Gackt suddenly pulled out of him, took his hand and guided him to the bed. He lay down by dragging Kami on top of him. Kami sit down on him so that he was penetrated again. Another dry gulping sound. He was riding him now, feeling every thrust even more intensive. Gackt watched him, how his muscles tensed and how his hair was falling down his chest. A nearly frigid blast hit his face with Kami flapping his wings and he straightened his back while the feeling between his legs grew that much that he had problems holding himself back, what was too early again. But everything was just too hot, too burning. He suddenly wrapped his hand around Kami and began stroking him, wondering if he would be able to come. Gackt had the answer when he came by himself and a second later, filling Kami from inside and Kami followed directly after him by squirting himself over Gackts hand. When Gackt came he nearly lost his consciousness, everything went dark for a moment and the only thing he could see was Kamis glowing figure above him with his wings spread again as much as he could. Kamis weak body felt on his chest, burying them both into a mess of feathers, when Gackt pulled out of him.
Gackt wrapped his arms around him and felt some new tears on his face, finally realizing what was going on. The words formed on his tongue with so much force, he had never felt before.
“You are everything...”
He cried silently again, not knowing how long they were staying like this until his eyes went tired and he felt waves of exhaustion. He didn´t want to sleep, but his body just couldn´t stay awake anymore. With his mind slowly getting numb he managed to speak again.
“Stay here forever...”
Everything was warm and he felt the angels loving embrace, the smell of him lingering everywhere when Kami covered him with his wings for the last time. The picture of Kami above him was still in Gackts thoughts, burned into his memory for eternity and he could still see his luminousness. Kami kissed him smoothly, and his words mixed up with the curtain of a dream Gackt was fallen into.
“We´ll meet again one day...I´ll be waiting for you...”
He wouldn´t say goodbye.
With a nostalgic sigh he separated from him as he finally felt fully asleep, having a final last glance on him, before uniting again with the dull darkness outside.
He watched the stars about him while striding trough the night.
For now he was alone and lost again.



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Fluff and sadness in the end...I am sorry...but this just had to be like it is^^
Still don´t really like it (I am a goddamn perfectionist -.-), but I worked really long on this and I think it´s ok^^

May. 13th, 2011

Rockin´on Japan Vol. 54

Title: Rockin´on Japan Vol. 54
Rating: 18
Fandom: X- Japan / Buck- tick
Pairing: Yoshiki x Atsushi
Warnings: sex
Genre: Poetry, smut
Language: german

Look at this before reading:

http://photobucket.com/images/yoshiki%20atsushi/



-------------------------------------


"Näher zusammen."
Langsam rutscht Atsushi der zierlichen Gestalt am anderen Ende des Sofas entgegen.
Yoshiki sieht ihn an, ein fragend kühler Blick, der trotzdem ausdruckslos erscheint.
Seine makellos femininen Züge zeigen keine Regung.
Dann blickt er zur Seite, den Kopf elegant nach unten neigend. Er sieht auf zum Photographen.
Sie sind seit Stunden mit den Einzelfotos beschäftigt, jetzt will die Redaktion sie zusammen.
"Näher. Atsushi- san beugen sie sich über ihn."
Yoshiki lässt sich nach hinten gleiten, bis sein Kopf auf der Armlehne aufliegt, sein Rücken sich an die Rundung des Sofas schmiegt. Atsushi beugt sich immer noch langsam immer weiter nach vorne, er stützt sich an der Lehne ab, sich dem anderen entgegen lehnend.
Er sieht auf den schlanken Hals hinab, der sich milde spannt, weil er immer noch zur Seite sieht. Er ist ihm so nahe, dass er jede einzelne Wimper erkennen kann.
Die ebenmäßigen Wangenknochen, die geradlinige Nase, seine leicht geöffneten Lippen.
Während er ihn weiterhin betrachtet und der Photograph andauernd um sie herum läuft wendet sich Yoshiki ihm plötzlich zu. Seine schmalen, hellen, mit schwarzem Lidschatten versehenen Augen sind auf Atsushis gerichtet, was ein kurz aufkommendes durchdringend impulsives Gefühl in seinem Bauch auslöst und ihn dazu bringt an ihm vorbei zu sehen.
"Genau so bleiben."
Die laute Stimme des Photographen überrascht Atsushi und er zuckt leicht zusammen.
Er spürt den brennenden Blick immer noch auf sich ruhen.
Die Wärme des Körpers unter ihm wirkt intensiv, gebündelt, bringt ihn dazu, dass er sich jeder noch so winzigen seiner Bewegungen bewusst wird und er versucht nicht zu schlucken.
Nach ein paar Sekunden wagt er es wieder nach vorne zu sehen, direkt in Yoshikis Gesicht.
Er nutzt die Sekunde des Bewegens um doch zu Schlucken.
Yoshikis Blick huscht einen winzigen Moment zu seinem Hals.
Der zierliche Körper streckt sich ihm leicht entgegen, Atsushi spürt wie sich Yoshikis Bein gegen seinen Oberschenkel lehnt. Er hält den Blickkontakt aufrecht, auch wenn es ihn nervös macht jemandem, der so fremd ist so nah zu sein.
Seine Hand rutscht etwas von der Lehne, sodass sie sich noch ein Stückchen näher kommen.
Yoshikis Atem trifft auf sein Kinn. Atsushi stützt sich jetzt direkt neben dessen Hüfte ab.
Yoshiki blinzelt betont langsam, seine Wimpern berühren sichtbar für einen kurzen Augenblick den Ansatz seiner Wangen.
Das Blinzeln wirkt so gekonnt anrüchig, dass Atsushi wieder schlucken muss.
Sein Blick wandert zu den ihm so nahen mattroten Lippen, dann wieder zurück zu seinen Augen.
Immerzu dieser beständige Ausdruck. Er wagt es nicht wieder weg zu sehen.
Ein leichtes Lächeln zieht über seine Lippen und wird schwach erwidert.
Atsushi legt, einem unbedachtem Impuls folgend, seine Hand kaum aufliegend auf Yoshikis Taille, was dieses mal ein leichtes Aufzucken seinerseits bewirkt. Das erste mal huscht eine Regung über sein Gesicht; kurzzeitige Überraschung blitzt in seinen Augen auf.
"Yoshiki- san, ziehen sie ihr rechtes Bein bitte an."
Yoshiki kommt der Bitte nach und sein Oberschenkel streift schleppend Atsushis Seite, sodass er jetzt fast gänzlich auf ihm liegt. Atsushis Hand beginnt anmutend Yoshikis Taille hinab zu fahren bis zu seiner Hüfte und seine Finger drücken sich spreizend auf seinen Hüftknochen.
Yoshiki seufzt kaum hörbar auf.
Sein Bein reibt erneut über Atsushis. Fast ohne sein Zutun streicht Atsushis Hand weiter.
Yoshikis Atem beschleunigt sich mit jedem Millimeter, trifft warm und stetig Atsushis Gesicht, bis die Finger sich hauchzart auf seinen Innenoberschenkel legen.
Ein leises Keuchen entflieht Yoshikis Lippen, doch er bricht den Blickkontakt nicht.
Der Kontakt der Finger ist so wage, dass Yoshiki es kaum wahrnehmen kann.
Sein dennoch flehend wirkender Blick veranlasst Atsushi dazu den Druck seiner Fingerkuppen zu erhöhen, sodass Yoshiki kaum wahrnehmbar, samten stöhnt.
Er krallt sich in Atsushis Schulter und schaut sich rasch, leicht panisch um.
Doch niemand im Raum bemerkt es, niemand anderes im Raum bemerkt irgendetwas.
"Wieder etwas auseinander."
Sie entfernen sich wieder ein Stück voneinander. Atsushi löst seine Finger.
Yoshikis Hand ergreift sofort Atsushis Krawatte, um ihn daran zu hindern noch weiter zu weichen. Atsushi lehnt sich gegen den beharrlichen Zug an seinem Hals, er zieht den Oberkörper leicht weiter nach oben, sodass seine Hüfte ein Stück nach vorne einrückt, gegen Yoshikis stößt, der sich sinnlich kontrolliert aufbäumt, die Augen für einen Moment schließt und sich in einer fliesenden Bewegung an ihn drückt. Einen Laut unterdrückend beißt er auf seine Unterlippe. Atsushi erwidert mit ein vehementen Druck seines Beckens, der ein weiteres gedämpftes Stöhnen durch geschlossene Lippen verursacht. Diesmal ist es Atsushi der sich zügig umsieht, sicher stellt, dass niemand es gehört hat. Er versucht ruhig zu atmen, obgleich Yoshiki sich jetzt in stetigen minimalen Bewegungen gegen ihn reibt.
Er weiß nicht wie und warum, kann sich jetzt schon nicht mehr erinnern, was vor wenigen Minuten passiert ist. Innerhalb von Sekunden spürt und denkt er nur noch ihn.
In einem gepresstem Zischen entlässt er die Luft, die er die ganze Zeit über zurückgehalten hat,
drückt sich dabei noch näher an die Hitze unter ihm.
Wenn sie noch länger so weitermachen, wird er nicht mehr dazu in der Lage sein sich dermaßen zu kontrollieren. Bei jeder Bewegung bohrt Yoshiki seine schwarz lackierten Fingernägel in Atsushis Schulter. Er ist warm und anschmiegend, berauscht und glühend, sündhaft und kraftvoll.
Atsushi kämpft mit dem Drang seine Lippen auf Yoshikis zu legen und sie zu vereinen in einem Kuss. Er lässt nur geschehen. Andauernd. Brennend. Heiß. Stärker.
"Ok, kurze Pause! Wir müssen das Set umbauen."
Atsushis Kopf schnellt blitzartig ertappt zur Seite, bevor er genauso schnell wieder zu Yoshiki sieht, dessen Wangen sich schlagartig röten. Das Staff- team um sie herum löst sich auf, verschiedene Menschen, die in verschiedene Richtungen laufen.
Atsushi erhebt sich ganz langsam, die Wärme zwischen ihren Körpern löst sich, als er sich fast unbeholfen aufrichtet und Yoshiki seine Hand entgegen streckt.
Yoshiki ergreift sie zögerlich und lässt sich nach oben ziehen. Er sieht ihn einfach nur an.
Bis jetzt hat er noch kein Wort mit ihm gesprochen.
Dunkel verhangene Augen, gerötete Wangen und delikat schimmernde Lippen.
Sie bleiben kurz voreinander stehen, bis Buck- ticks Manager zu ihnen tritt und Yoshiki freundlich zunickt. „Hayashi- san.“ Dann klopft er Atsushi auf die Schulter.
„Gute Arbeit! Ich schätze du musst dich umziehen für den Rest..."
Er redet weiter und verwickelt Atsushi in ein Gespräch, der zwanghaft seinen Blick von Yoshiki abwenden muss. Atsushi fühlt sich in seinem Zustand nicht dazu in der Lage zuzuhören.
Er beobachtet Yoshiki, der zügig aus dem Raum schreitet ohne sich umzudrehen.
"...Das sagt zumindest das Label, du kennst da ja. Ok. Umziehen, mein Lieber."
Atsushi sieht ihn verwirrt an.
"...ja...“
Ein zerstreutes Lächeln.
Er verlässt ebenfalls den Raum, durchquert den Flur Richtung Garderobe.
Wie in Trance blindlings voranschreitend sieht er sich um, bis sein Blick auf Yoshikis Rücken vor dem Fenster im Nebenraum fällt.
Mit langsamen Schritten nähert er sich dem Türrahmen, lehnt sich gegen ihn.
Yoshiki hört seine Schritte, er dreht sich um, eine Zigarette zwischen seinen Fingern klemmend.
Jetzt stehen sie sich wieder gegenüber, mit mehr als drei Metern Abstand und sprechen nicht.
Yoshiki raucht in regelmäßigen Zügen, indem er lang und anhaltend an seiner Zigarette zieht, die er zwischen Daumen und Zeigefinger hält. Es wirkt manisch, aber gleichzeitig beruhigend.
Atsushi beobachtet jede seiner Bewegungen: Wie er seine blasse Hand ästhetisch zu seinem Mund führt, das Ende der Zigarette zwischen seine geöffneten Lippen schiebt und saugend daran zieht, den Kopf etwas nach hinten neigt und den Rauch wieder entlässt, die Augen dabei genüsslich flimmernd. Die Art und Weise, wie seine Haare dabei in sein Gesicht fallen ist sexy.
Atsushi spürt den Drang etwas zu sagen und gleichzeitig eine innere Barriere die ihn daran hindert Worte auszusprechen.
Yoshiki steht da, wieder kühl und gefasst.
Er drückt den Zigarettenstummel ohne hinzusehen auf der Fensterbank aus, während seine andere
Hand den Saum seines aus glänzendem Stoff gefertigten Gewandes ergreift und über seine Schulter zieht, dann den Gürtel öffnet, der es zusammenhält und ihn nach unten gleiten lässt, sodass er jetzt nur noch in Spitzenhandschuhen, Spitzenstrumpfhose und einer kurzen ledern glänzenden Hose verbleibt; eine lange schwarze Kette um seinen Hals.
Er geht langsam auf den anderen zu, nur um ganz nah an ihm vorbei zu gehen, im Inbegriff den Raum wieder zu verlassen. Atsushis Hand umschließt wieder seine Taille und er hält ihn zurück.
„Wohin?“
Das Wort aus seiner trockenen Kehle klingt rau und zusammenhangslos.
Yoshiki antwortet nicht, sondern dreht sich nur leicht zu ihm, wodurch sie sich wieder ganz nah sind. Atsushis Hand streicht über den Hals des Anderen, weiter nach unten über die bloße Haut, bis sie sich schließlich auf seinen flachen Bauch legt.
Die zwischen ihnen flimmernde Wärme ist wieder spürbar.
Yoshiki legt eines seiner Beine um Atsushis Hüfte und drückt ihn damit an sich.
Atsushi beginnt wieder sich ihn einem stetigen Rhythmus gegen ihn zu bewegen, beobachtet, wie
Yoshikis Augen leicht zu driften und er mit einem atemlosen Stöhnen seinen Kopf nach vorne auf Atsushis Schulter fallen lässt, beide Hände um seinen Nacken gelegt. Atsushi legt seinen Arm um Yoshikis Rücken, um ihn vor Gleichgewichtsverlust zu bewahren. Yoshiki drückt sich hart an ihn, bewegt sich gegen ihn und atmet laut stockend gegen Atsushis Schlüsselbein. Er hebt den Kopf ohne in seiner Bewegung inne zu halten und drückt mit einer plötzlich aufkommenden Leidenschaft seine Lippen auf Atsushis. Er bewegt sie kurz und sanft. Atsushi hält still.
Yoshiki lässt sofort wieder ab und sieht ihn an. Er legt seine Wange an Atsushis Hals.
„Mach weiter...“
Die ersten Worte gegenüber Atsushi aus Yoshikis Mund. Es ist ein höflich betonter Befehl.
Atsushi läuft ein kleines Stück rückwärts, den anderen vor sich her schiebend, bis er Yoshiki mit dem Rücken an den Schrank lehnt, der sich jetzt direkt hinter ihm befindet.
Yoshiki schlingt beide seiner Beine um Atsushi und verschränkt wieder seine Hände hinter Atsushis Nacken, sodass Atsushi Schwierigkeiten hat stehen zu bleiben und nach vorne kippt. Yoshiki kracht mit einem kleinem Schmerzenslaut gegen die Schrankwand, Atsushi gegen ihn. Wenn jemand sie bemerkt und herkommt sind sie in dieser Position bloßgestellt.
Er hofft inständig, dass jeder mit sich selbst beschäftigt ist.
Den Gedanken verdrängend stößt er sein Becken nach vorne. Yoshiki stöhnt ungehalten laut auf,
bevor er eine Hand aus Atsushis Nacken löst und in seinen eigenen Arm beißt, um jedes weitere Geräusch zu ersticken. Atsushi weiß, dass jeder sie hören kann, der sich dem Flur nähert, trotzdem entzieht er ihm seinen Arm und legt ihn wieder um seinen Rücken. Yoshiki schnaubt verzweifelt, was sich in einem abermals viel zu lautem Stöhnen manifestiert.
Atsushi stützt sein Gewicht auf eine Hand, während seine andere sich vor tastet um Yoshikis ersten Hosenknopf zu öffnen.
Von drüben erklingen mittlerweile wieder mehr Stimmen.
„Yoshiki- san?“
Die helle Frauenstimme erklingt aus Richtung Flur.
„Verdammte Scheiße!“
Das Fluchen zerschmettert Yoshikis sonst so höflich zurückhaltendes Verhalten.
Schritte kommen auf sie zu, sodass Atsushi ihn schleunigst ablässt und ein weites Stück zur Seite tritt. Yoshiki hat den Knopf seiner Hose wieder geschlossen in dem Moment als die Frau in der Tür steht.
„Wir machen in ein paar Minuten weiter.“
Sie nicken beide nur und die Frau dreht sich um und verschwindet wieder.
Atsushis Hand reibt nervös und zittrig über seinen Unterarm. Yoshiki rauft sich durch die Haare.
Er schaut nach unten und redet mit zusammengebissenen Zähnen, während seine Hand hinweisend auf seinen Körper deutet.
„So kann ich nicht gehen...“
Atsushi weiß weder was er sagen noch tun soll, also geht er unschlüssig ein paar Schritte auf den anderen zu, streckt seine Hand aus und streicht durch Yoshikis lange Haare.
Yoshiki schließt kurz die Augen, dann entzieht er sich ihm wieder und läuft auf einmal
raus in den Flur. Atsushi sieht ihm verdutzt nach, an seinem Standort verharrend wartet er, bis Yoshiki nach wenigen Sekunden wieder eintritt, einen kleinen Schlüsselbund in der Hand.
„Wir haben 20 Minuten.“
Er greift nach dem auf dem Boden liegenden Stoff, wirft ihn über seine Schultern,
fasst Atsushi am Arm und zieht ihn weiter zum Notausgang.
„Wo willst du hin?“
Yoshiki antwortet wieder nicht.
Er führt ihn lediglich durchs kahle Treppenhaus. Ihre schnellen Schritte hallen seltsam laut verzerrend wider. Dann sind sie in der Tiefgarage und Atsushi versucht stehen zu bleiben.
„Ich dachte wir müssen zurück zum Set!“
Yoshiki geht einfach weiter, bis er vor einem silbernen Lexus stehen bleibt.
„Ich habs verschoben.“
„Was?“
„Ich hab gesagt ich muss kurzfristig noch was regeln, was nicht verschoben werden kann.
Telefonat wegen eines neuen Vertrags.“
Die Art in der Yoshiki regelmäßig auf den verdreckten Boden sieht und dabei eine lange Strähne seines Haares zurecht zupft, zeigt deutlich seine Scheu mit ihm zu reden, was mit seinen dominanten Handlungen kollidiert. Atsushi weiß nicht, ob es wirklich Unsicherheit ist oder ob er einfach keine Lust hat mit ihm zu sprechen.
Yoshiki verschränkt die Arme vor seinem Bauch und sieht ihn herausfordernd an, was die zweite These beinahe schon bestätigt.
Atsushi schließt den letzten Meter zu ihm auf und drückt ihn gegen die Seite des Autos.
„Du hast also gelogen.“
Er flüstert die Worte, während er seine Handfläche in Yoshikis Schritt drückt.
Yoshiki keucht laut auf, sein Ellbogen schlägt mit einem dumpfem Geräusch auf die Autoscheibe hinter ihm und er spürt Hitze in sein Gesicht schießen.
Impulsiv schiebt er Atsushi von sich und öffnet die Tür des Sportwagens mit einem der Schlüssel, die er noch in seiner Hand gehalten hat.
„Das ist deins?“
Yoshiki fasst ihn am Kragen und drückt ihn ohne ein weiteres Wort auf den Rücksitz.
Er zieht Yoshiki mit sich, wobei er unsanft mit dem Kopf vor die Ecke des anderen Sitzes schlägt, es aber ignoriert und den anderen auf sich zieht.
Yoshiki lässt die Tür hinter ihnen wieder zufallen, beugt sich sofort wieder runter und küsst ihn hastig, während er gleichzeitig die Jacke seiner Uniform öffnet, darauf das weiße Hemd darunter und seine Hose.
Atsushi setzt sich auf und drückt Yoshiki nach unten, seine Hände streichen fahrig durch Yoshikis Haare und öffnen zum zweiten mal den ersten Knopf seiner Shorts, dann die anderen beiden.
Umständlich aufgrund des Platzmangels zieht er sie gänzlich von seinen Beinen, samt Strumpfhose.
Yoshiki liegt da auf dem hellen Leder, nur mit seiner schwarz schimmernden Kette und den rauen Spitzenschadschuhen und sieht so verletzlich aus.
Verletzlich und frivol und schön.
Es ist zu eng und zu niedrig auf dem Rücksitz.
Atsushi füllt eine Welle der Aufregung, ein purer Stoß Adrenalin, der ihn seiner Situation bewusst macht. Unwirklich, einnehmend und nachdrücklich.
Er berührt bedächtig Yoshikis glatte Oberschenkel, dessen Atem sich in einer Mischung aus Scham und Erregung wieder beschleunigt hat. Seine Finger fahren weiter über den deutlich ausgeprägten Hüftknochen, über seine Rippen, das Schlüsselbein.
Dann umfasst Yoshiki plötzlich kräftig sein Handgelenk, zieht seine Hand daran von sich und wechselt abermals ihre Positionen, indem er sich rumwirft und sich auf seine Hüfte setzt, sein Handgelenk immer noch umschließend.
„Wir haben fast...keine...Zeit mehr.“
Er atmet schwer und redet stockend, als er sich positioniert und sich unerwartet wieder auf Atsushi sinken lässt, sodass er ganz langsam, aber in einer einzigen Bewegung in ihn eindringt.
Yoshiki beißt die Zähne aufeinander und keucht, verzweifelt um Schmerzkontrolle versucht, während Atsushi kurz und tief aufknurrt. Zu wenig Kontrolle.
Yoshiki sinkt nach vorne auf Atsushis Brust, beide Hände flach darauf abstützend, ein schluchzender Laut verlässt seine Lippen.
Atsushi legt eine Hand sanft an die Wange des Anderen, spürt eine leichte feuchte Spur, die er mit seinem Daumen verwischt. Yoshiki macht ein fast wütendes Geräusch und zieht seine Hand wieder brutal zur Seite. Einzelne Tränen laufen seine Wangen hinab, Atsushi spürt sie seinen Bauch hinab laufen. Doch bevor er wieder beruhigend über Yoshikis Kopf streichen kann, richtet dieser sich auf und beginnt sich genauso brutal zu bewegen, wie er gerade Atsushis Hand zur Seite gezerrt hat. Atsushi spürt nur die Hitze. Die unendlich gleißende Hitze, die sich in seine Gedanken brennt und alles in hellen Flammen aufgehen lässt. So viel Hitze und wieder zu wenig Kontrolle. Sein Kopf klappt nach hinten und er sieht die Decke der Tiefgarage durch das Autofenster.
Endlos und Dreckig. Alles kommt ihm auf einmal langsam vor.
Der Sex mit Yoshiki ist hart, schmerzhaft und verstandraubend.
Yoshikis Stimme hallt in seinem Kopf wieder. Dunkel; erotisch.
Er umfasst seine Hüften und bewegt ihn schneller, sein Atem kollabiert unstetig.
Er will ihn küssen, will ihn anfassen, spüren, nehmen, haben, besitzen.
Blinde Gier, die immer schneller und schneller durch ihn treibt, ihn immer unkontrollierter quält bis zur unaushaltbaren Grenze. Er will sprechen, doch nur hart gekeuchte Laute verlassen seinen Mund.
Yoshiki stützt sich mit einer Hand am Autodach, die andere krallt sich jetzt in Atushis Haare und zieht seinen Kopf daran wieder nach vorne. Yoshiki sieht benommen aus, streckt abwechselnd den Rücken durch und krümmt ihn wieder leicht. Es ist fast die gleiche Haltung, die er einnimmt, wenn er an einem Flügel sitzt, nur verkrampfter. Atsushi beobachtet jede seiner Bewegungen, bis Yoshiki seinen Kopf wieder freigibt und mit einer unbedachten Schnelligkeit das Haarband, was seine Haare bis jetzt zusammengehalten hat, löst, seine Handschuhe abstreift und beides achtlos nach vorne ins Auto wirft. Seine hüftlangen hellen Locken fallen jetzt über seine Schultern und umrahmen seinen Körper. Seine von den Handschuhen befreiten Finger streichen über Atsushis Oberkörper, der sich ihm jetzt immer lauter keuchend entgegenstreckt. Yoshiki bohrt wieder seine Fingernägel in Atsushis Arm und sinkt so weit nach unten, dass er ihn mit der Stirn berührt, mit heißem Atem gegen seine Halsbeuge stöhnt.
Atsushi weiß nicht wie lange, es kommt ihm endlos vor, aber irgendwann kann er es nicht mehr kontrollieren und es scheint ihn zu überspülen; alles explodiert in einem einzigem Moment.
Hitze. Flamme. Gier. Besitz.
Er bemerkt nur vage Yoshikis Gewicht, das voll und ganz auf ihn fällt, weil Yoshiki gänzlich nach vorne gekippt ist und jetzt laut atmend an seiner Brust liegt.
Jetzt ist alles warm und einlullend, nicht mehr brennend.
Yoshiki hebt seinen Kopf leicht und küsst ihn kurz, bevor er ihn sofort wieder fallen lässt.
Atsushi umschließt den vor Anstrengung zitternden Körper beschützend mit seinen Armen.
Yoshiki drückt sich an seine Brust und seufzt hinreißend leise, seine Haare fallen sanft über Atsushis Schultern. Er kann seinen rasenden Puls spüren.
Das erste mal wird er sich dem Geruch von Yoshikis Parfum wirklich bewusst. Es ist schwer und süß. Chanel. Er atmet tief in langsamen Zügen ein.
Yoshikis Hand legt sich über ihren Köpfen auf die seine und er verschränkt ihre Finger.
Es fühlt sich überraschend vertraut an.
„Wir müssen hoch.“
„Ich weiß.“
Viel zu schnell löst Yoshiki ihre Hände wieder, richtet sich auf und greift nach seiner Hose. Es ist kaum Platz, also zieht Atsushi sich möglichst schnell wieder an und steigt aus dem Wagen. Yoshiki folgt ihm ein paar Sekunden später. Er schließt die hintere Wagentür und öffnet dann die vordere, um nach einer Zigarettenschachtel auf dem Amaturenbrett zu greifen. Er fischt eine aus der Packung und steckt sie zwischen seine Lippen, während Atsushi ein Feuerzeug aus seiner Hosentasche zieht und sie ihm anzündet. Yoshiki grinst anzüglich und nimmt einen Zug. Atsushi nimmt ihm die Zigarette aus dem Mund und zieht selber ein paar mal, bevor er sie ihm zurückgibt.
„Du hättest auch eine eigene haben können.“
„Nur weil du deine nicht teilen willst?“
Er lächelt amüsiert.
„Wir dürfen hier nicht rauchen.“
Mit diesen Worten greift er nochmal nach vorne, um Handschuhe, sowie sein Haarband zu holen, bevor er abschließt und sie sich in Richtung Tür begeben.
Im Treppenhaus schweigen sie, bis Yoshiki die Stille bricht.

May. 10th, 2011

(no subject)

Title: White Poem I
Rating: 18
Fandom: X- Japan
Pairing: Sugizo x Yoshiki
Genre: Poetry, smut
Warnings: Oral, slight bondage

Sugizo is watching Yoshikis performance of White Poem while a concert.
Watch this before reading:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXqKIhpL2g0

(I know, this happened while the Dahlia tour, but the fic is set in 2010^^)

And listen to this while reading^^:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP5U5xCoUwg



-----------------------------------------------



He was watching everything on the small TV screen in Yoshikis personal wardrobe.
They were beating him up, hitting him to the ground and treating him like some whore that wasn´t able to defend and that for more than five minutes now. Yoshiki let them do everything without any sign of objection, we was rather enjoying it. Sugizo was able to see it by those little smiles that scurried over his face and surely by his extremely tight latex pants. He whispered and hissed into his microphone while being blindfolded and handcuffed for everyone to see. Exactly the way he loved it, exactly the way he loved everything: being the centre of attention with everyone´s eyes on him and his captivating beauty. Sugizo silently shooked his head when Yoshiki sprawled on the ground and let two of the bitches kiss each other directly beside his head. One of those gasps again, when they let their hands stroke over his sweaty chest while kissing. The fans were screaming his name again and again, adrenalizing Yoshiki even more. Toshis voice sounded trough the hall in turn with the susurrated verse of Yoshiki. The bass was pulsing to everything, together with the final guitar riffs that slowly faded now. The woman carried Yoshikis immobile body to the middle of the stage, the last words were spoken and everything went dark. A enormous wave of shouting and clapping followed, before it was finally over.
Sugizo stood up from his chair and disconnected the TV screen. Afterwards he sit back again and starred into the air. In a few seconds Yoshiki should walk in again.
Directly after thinking about his arrival, he heard voices in the corridor. A few seconds later the door was opened and Yoshiki appeard. He noticed Sugizo with a weird and surprised look.
“Are you still in here?”
Sugizo didn´t answered first but watched Yoshiki removing the head set.
“You were enjoing it?”
Yoshikis cheeks went red.
“Why are you asking that stuff?”
“Because I think you enjoyed it very much...”
“That´s not your matter, is it? It was just a goddamn performace.”
„Yeah and I think the performance...worked.”
“Shut your fucking mouth.”
“I didn´t know you like those things that way...”
“I don´t.”
“Well, I think you definitely do.”
“I said fuck you.”
“You didn´t.”
“Then I´m fucking doing it now!”
Yoshiki passed him and put down his black blindfold and bonds. He took a half filled water bottle and let it´s content splash over his head and face, so that is more or less slowly flowed up his chest. Sugizo was watching him.
He looked exhausted and absent. Sugizo noticed him shivering slightly by the coldness of the fluid running down his body, what made him seem to be vulnerable and fragile, just like being glasscaged. He had closed his eyes, while touching his wet hair, a silent sigh leaving his lips.
The impression of vulnerability intensified with his tremulous breath. A sudden sensation of wanting to embrace him blasted into Sugizos mind, what was admittedly replaced by a overwhelming desire for cracking his imaginary glass cage. He just wanted to touch the fragileness of his figure to try out if it would withstand the rough contact. He stood up, not being able to hold back, and took a few steps forward, until he was directly standing in front of the other man.
Yoshiki opened his eyes and watched him sceptically trough his beautifully rouged eyes.
“What are you about to do?”
Sugizo didn´t answered, but let his index finger stroke over Yoshikis shoulder. It felt surprisingly velvet. He let some of Yoshikis light strands of hair slide trough his wirily fingers, suddenly grabbing them hard and pulling his head backwards out of some intoxicating impulse, so that Yoshiki hissed in pain, while closing his eyes again. When Sugizo fitfully pulled again, even harder than before, Yoshiki moaned quietly. He was looking down in his grimacing face and a wave of transcendency appeared for a short moment.
“You do like it...being treated that way...”
“Fuck you...”
Angrily, but weakly whispered.
“What did you say, bitch?”
He pulled his hair that hard that Yoshikis back of his head nearly touched his neck.
“Fuck you...”
Sugizo just smiled, being fulfilled with adrenaline pulsing trough his veins.
He could clearly hear his speeding heartbeat in his own chest, as he catched the blindfold and bonds from the table near him without really thinking about it.
By letting go of Yoshikis hair he abrasively accroached his body to handcuff his wrist and pulling the dark blindfold over his eyes again. Then he pushed him away with such strength that Yoshiki staggered backwards and nearly felt down.
He hadn´t defense yet and Sugizo knew that he wouldn´t complain at all, because he seemed to be already in such a high state of arousal that his body wasn´t capable to struggle anymore.
Yoshiki was standing there now in the middle of the room, his cuffed hands stretched in the air and his hip slightly meshed forward; just exactly as he had been standing there on stage.
Sugizo was kneeling in front of him now, letting his hands stroke over Yoshikis still wet stomach trying to imitate the situation of the performance as exactly as possible.
Yoshiki´s heavy breath made him shiver.
He scratched over the skin with his long sharp nails as he pushed Yoshiki against the wall behind him with vehemence.
Yoshiki moaned again and leaned in so that Sugizos nails scratched even deeper than he had wanted them to.
Sugizo had never heard Yoshiki moan before. Altough they knew each other for such a long time, this was a side of him he didn´t know and he´d never really think about. But now he was experiencing exactly this side and it was absolutely sexy.
He stood up, grabbed Yoshiki´s chin and hold it tight between two fingers, before he let them glide under the black latex of Yoshikis collar that lied against his skin closely, to impose pressure to his larynx. The sudden complicacy to breath was heightened by Sugizos left leg he pressed into Yoshikis crotch. Yoshiki twitched a bit and made a whining noise while trying to catch more air.
Sugizo let his leg circle in a slow rhythm, feeling that Yoshiki was even harder than he had been when leaving the stage.
“It hurts, I am right?”
“Yeah...it...hurts...”
Yoshikis voice sounded faintly and fearful, but still a little angry, even though he couldn´t breath very well.
His ears blushed out of embarrassment, but he did nothing than just bit his lower lip to stand the pain and leaning his hands against the wall above his head. Unresisting, helpless and desperate- the result of the woman´s work, Sugizo would complete. He let his lips tenderly slide over Yoshikis throat, licking about his own fingers there, before he removed them. A pure feeling of might rushed trough him when the other one inhaled abruptly, so that he felt like controlling everything of Yoshiki, as if he would capture him. He touched his wrists, feeling the other one´s pulse rapidly and warmly pulsing against his fingertip; the proof of being alive, a constant rhythm like music that timelessly flows. It was a natural process, but a dark secret of unreachable power at the same time. Sugizo tugged Yoshiki forward, just to push him away again and he made a noise out of suffering and pleasure. His body shaked and he nearly moaned in anger, when Sugizo did nothing than starring at him, what he wasn´t able too see trough his blindfold. When Sugizos hand touched his belt, his arms hit the wall, when he jumped backwards out of surprise.
“Bastard...”
Sugizo pressed the palm of his hand to Yoshikis mouth, muffeling every word that could have followed. His other hand opened the belt, while he felt the softness of Yoshikis lips against his fingers. When he had removed the zipper too, he kneeled down again, freed Yoshikis mouth and let his tongue lick over Yoshikis whole length.Yoshiki shivered again and breathed loudly trough his nose with closed lips. Sugizo was sucking hardly on him in a rapid rhythm now, what made Yoshiki moan unregulatedly for several times.
Sugizo listened to him and felt a goose bump running down his arms and spine.
He stopped for a moment to speak.
“Don´t you want to recite your little poem again?”
Yoshiki shook his head and forced his hip forward as if pleasing Sugizo to go on sucking him.
“Oh well, but I think you want to.”
Yoshiki shook his head again, but quit the movement when Sugizo pressed his nail into his thigh, without caring how much it hurts.
His breath rushed until he had to give up fighting against Sugizos will.
The first shaky word left Yoshikis mouth with hestitation. Sugizo continued.
“I...”
He interrupted himself with a hiss.
“I...feel...”
Sugizo sucked even harder, letting his hands stroke over Yoshikis stomach, down his hip.
“so...blue...”
The last vowel merged into a groan, emphasizing the despair.
“I feel so...blue...in...”
Sugizo scratched over his chest in an entire containing manner.
“this white poem...”
Yoshiki forgot about everything than Sugizos tongue swirgling around him. He even forgot about Sugizo, by not being able to see anything or to move his hands, he was just able to jerk his hip forward in a attempt to intensify the intoxicating sensation.
“Love...”
The words were leaving his mouth without being consciously spoken.
“Love will...find the way...”
Sugizo could feel the words. They weren´t just said, they were expressing everything of Yoshiki.
“Do you...still believe...that?”
This was the real poem.
This were the real words and not the fake construction of it that he created every time on stage.
Sugizo slowly began to believe that he could understand it.
The way Yoshiki was devoting to his touch, the way he willingly subordinated to be completely lost of his own will, completely controlled by some one else without knowing if this one would let him fall. He was moving smoothly but filthy.
“While...I...”
Yoshiki wasn´t really able to speak anymore, he sounded like he´d began to cry, but when Sugizo stopped treating him that rough, Yoshiki was pressing desperately against his fingers to bring him to scratch him again and press him remorselessly against the wall again.
“While I´m away...”
He began to repeat this verse again and again adapting to Sugizos rhythm.
“While I´m away...while I´m... away...”
Sugizo hit his hip violently backwards every time Yoshiki tried to thrust into his mouth.
“I´m away...I´m away...”
It was a raising up to the final climax.
“I´m away...I´m away...”
It echoed in Sugizos head. Being away. Somewhere between the gates of life and death.
“I´m away, I´m away, I´m away...”
Finally Yoshikis stomach began to tense, his breath accomplished to fasten even more. Sugizo had to press his hip to the wall uniterrupted.
The final words began to build in Yoshikis head.
“Read this...”
He wasn´t able to complete the sentence, when Sugizo pressed his nails into his leg once again and bridged the last few seconds with it, so that Yoshiki couldn´t hold back anymore.
This was the end.
Sugizo felt hot waves of liquid being pumped down his throat.
Yoshiki just panted hard for a single time and nearly loosed his consciousness, until it was over.
“Read this line again.”
This was the real poem. Breathlessly and weakly spoken, before he collapsed forward, falling into Sugizos arms, what nearly crushed them both to the ground.
Sugizo was curling his arms around Yoshikis weak body, holding him in a tight embrace.
He wouldn´t let him fall.